The Green Police

Time to resurrect the Green Police video.  I did not watch the super bowl, however someone was kind enough to tell me about the Green Police video.  I had forgotten about it until the Styrofoam cups at work were replaced by paper cups, similar to Starbucks paper cups, but no sleeves.  

When I purchase over-priced coffee, I ask that they not put a straw in it or a sleeve on it.  I’m a mom, I’ve been thru far more painful things than hot coffee through a paper cup.  If you hold the cup around the rim, you don’t even feel the hot coffee.  I think that some people are just not smart enough to think of that, most of them are men because they struggle with pain and try to get the most mileage out of it.   Our company provides free coffee all day and free paper plates, napkins, plastic forks, knives, spoons, toaster oven, microwaves, refrigerators, paper towels and filtered water.   A Male co-worker who, complaining about everything is not a stranger to him, if you gave him a BMW he’d say it was the wrong color began to whine early on.  He’s a Liberal, so that is no big surprise whining comes naturally.  “Dey god rid a duh Styrofoam cupfs an pud out pader cupfs and dey burn ma hans.  Why dey do dat?” (This person has a foreign accent).  “Cheap compdany.  Gree-dee dey is gree-dee” and then whine whine whine some more, and I shut my ears, focus my eyes else where and tune it out as always because we are a tolerant society.

I like da pader cupfs, excuse me, I mean I like the paper cups.  I am not a Global Warmist and I think Al Gore is a Mal(e) Whore and believe Cap and Tax will be a major downfall for the WORLD if plans for it go through.  I do like to be ‘Green’ when I can, when it makes sense.  Changing the Styrofoam cups to paper was a nice change.  I can microwave a pader cupfs but I’m uneasy about microwaving a Styrofoam cup, I don’t know why, but I suspect it’s because they melt.  Styrofoam is really nice as an insulator, but I don’t like drinking out of it.  Everyone doing their part is what makes a difference, taxing us and forcing us makes us rebellious, at least it makes me rebellious.  However people like Mr. Pader Cupfs never does his part because it’s too much work and he thinks that taxing other people for ‘Green Responsibility’ is the answer.  “Ohf dey pu ina tax for dat an da government gonna reed-cycle for us an da world gonna be green”.   This is what I have come to be known as Liberals, expecting the government to do recycling for us and we can keep the Styrofoam Cupfs.  Why do these people leave their socialist or dictator country and come here and want the same thing?  I will never understand that.

Mr. Pader Cupfs is not only a Liberal, but a pig as well.  I have a disgusting story about Mr. Pader Cupfs you may want to stop reading now.  I am sharing my story to get over the trauma of it.  I like to think that I am an over-comer and sometimes it takes a little more effort to over come somethings more than others.  This story very indirectly relates to Green.  Mr. Pader Cupfs was leaning over my cube wall, resting his arms and leaning in, the cube walls at most are 4.5 feet high, I need to measure them, but I am 5 foot 2 and I can comfortably lean over them and see in, so PC (Pader Cupfs) at 5 foot 10 can really get close up.  I was looking at the computer screen, and he was at my left leaning in.  I could see him clear as day in my peripheral vision.  The left arm slowly raised up with his finger out stretched as it made a beeline for his nose.  You must know that PC has plenty of prominent nose hair that could hide little treasures.  I suspect this is something he’s done before because he was immediately able to locate a treasure and rolled it around in his thumb and forefinger as if it were gold.  Upon examining it closely, he must have decided there was something more in there so he exhaled forcefully as if blowing his nose without a tissue while still leaning in my cube.   I was unfortunate to have been sitting right there and caught a quite a bit of discharge on my neck and cheek.  Oddly enough, he turned around really quick and sat down without saying a word.  Mr. PC is also a ‘fingernail clipper in his cube’ kind of person, you can hear the nails being clipped and then hear where they land.  Are you disgusted yet?  I can tell you more.  Mr PC is also a chronic armpit itcher, he cannot seem to talk to me without scratching his man boobs or his arm pits.  It’s making me crazy, CRAZY I say.  That’s not all, it doesn’t stop there, he listens to my conversations and then comments on them.   He can’t stay out of my business.  He can’t keep his NOSE (pardon the pun) out of my cube.

I finally told my supervisor, who took it to the DIRECTOR level.  I didn’t ask for discipline for him, I asked for him to be moved.  The supervisor and director are taking it ‘very seriously’.  It’s not like he was groping me, he’s just gross, disgusting and friggin Liberal, which in and of itself, is cause enough to keep him away from me.  NOW not only do I get to keep sitting next to him, he also gets to know that I ratted him out for being a pig.  The reason I did not confront him is because he’s a yeller, he screams at me if I say or do something he’s not in agreement with.  Granted I shout back and the screaming doesn’t intimidate me, it’s the pissing and moaning he does to everyone else about me when I piss him off.  He’ll casually get up, walk around to other co-workers and tell them how foolish I am then return to his cube chucking about how foolish I am.

I am foolish.  I have been so foolish, for not reporting him sooner.

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One response to “The Green Police

  1. I think u are just an overly consurvativ rube.Why dont u go back to mr bush and beg him to ruin our contry sum more. Obama is the best thng tohappen 2 this country. He is fixed all of ur problems for u and u still complane.

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